Monday, September 7, 2009
One hundred years to live.
Over the past few months I have remained extremely tight lipped about some major potential changes in my life. I have a history of playing out the nasty habit of getting excited about something before it's really happening and telling everyone I know of my "plans," only to watch them fail miserably shortly thereafter...it's always humbling and a bit of an ego jab to have people ask me months after the fact, whatever happened to my premature and over-zealous pipe dreams?
This time I wanted to make fairly certain of my direction before I shared it with anyone other than my family and a couple close friends. I wasn't only trying to not look again like the girl who cried insane-over-planning-wolf, but I also didn't want to get ahead of myself, get too excited, or too attached to something that wasn't the right thing for me. I have decided that I am ready to let people know of my general up coming direction in life because I have thought a lot about it, prayed a lot about it, and feel fairly confident (today) that this is where I'm headed. I am also willing to admit the boundaries of my humanness and say that things could definitely change and they will most assuredly at least turn out differently than I anticipate. I am ready for the challenge of being flexible and letting God show me my next move while I am completely blind to anything further ahead of me than my own nose.
I want to preface the announcement by saying that my plans are completely unformed. I am keeping it that way on purpose as I want to go into this adventure as flexible and ready for anything as I possibly can. I will be flying by the seat of my pants until I feel led in one direction or another...and I'm excited to see what happens.
In December I will be embarking on a two week long missions trip to India with my church to partner with an organization called Harvest India. Our main duties will be getting involved with a large orphanage they run there. We will also be getting into the community a bit; we have yet to hear exactly what the trip entails. Since I have to raise support for the trip anyway, which includes a round trip airfare from the States to India, I have decided that I am going to attempt to stay overseas for an indefinite amount of time before utilizing that return flight. I have to be honest, "indefinite" could equal anything from a few weeks, to several months, to a year.
I find myself at an amazing time in life. Yes, I gripe here and there about the woes of being young and recently out of college...but in reality, I may never again have a time in my life where I am so unattached. I am barely 24 and a half years of age, relatively healthy, single, passionate, and ready to be challenged and uncomfortable for a time. God created me a person with an enormous amount of heart for overseas missions. I have felt called to this for much of my life and I finally see it becoming feasible. I am choosing not to partner with a specific program up front (i.e. YWAM) because I won't know where I am supposed to be until I am there. I am literally stepping out in a huge amount of faith and relying on God to be my vision, my guide, and my heart in all of this. I would like to travel around a bit, there is so much of the world I long to see...but I may possibly just settle in India, I won't know until it's happening. I am attempting to get in touch with a few connections overseas to see if I might have some specific opportunities to serve and volunteer, though I most likely won't commit to anything in advance. Anyone who knows me at all may know my deep heartache for women caught in forced prostitution and sex slavery. I have volunteered with a couple of organizations stateside that deal with slavery and I am currently seeking potential opportunities to work in the rehabilitation of women pulled out of slavery in India.
To be up front and transparent, I am terrified of this entire endeavor. I also feel that it is this fear that is driving me to want so badly to overcome and conquer. I know that the Lord will give me everything I need and that this experience will pan out to be life changing, formative, and completely unforgettable.
Should things proceed as stated, I will be breaking all major ties with my life here in Newport Beach come December. I will vacate my house, quit my job, store the belongings I won't be taking with me, and sell my car. Armed with merely a backpack full of some essentials, my passport, and traveler's insurance, I will plan to take on the world in some capacity.
I am SO ready and SO excited.
Should you feel so inclined, I would LOVE if anyone would be willing to partner with me in prayer throughout the next few months until my trip...and beyond.
I would appreciate prayer for these specifics:
-health (I tend to spend a lot of my life sick...I am hoping for a miracle that I will remain healthy for the time I am overseas)
-a humble attitude that encompasses flexibility, adaptability, and lots and lots of love for those I will meet along the way
-direction and guidance
-finances (this is probably THE single most daunting thing about this whole adventure...I tend to have a lot of anxiety about it)
I apologize that I don't get to talk to each and every one of you individually about my life changes; I know general public sharing of information can feel impersonal but please know that I love and appreciate everyone in my life and I hope to be able to connect with more of you individually in the near future.
To life, love, adventure...and making the most of my one hundred short years on this earth.